


Lost In You

by Akifall



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bullying, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 17:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8761999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akifall/pseuds/Akifall
Summary: When he was a child, Jaime tore up a priceless photo of Brienne's.As an adult, Jaime tries to make things right between them





	

He hated her on site. A bundle of blue and yellow stretched out in the same dress his sister wore.

His sister had spent hours picking out the dress, and here this beast was fumbling awkwardly as she piled building bricks up in concertation.

Cersei tugged at his arm, smirking as she handed him some finger paint. Jaime grinned back. It was only right really, beautiful things were meant for beautiful people, and he was doing ugly Brienne a favour as he trotted over to her and pretended to trip.

Black was in everything a contrast to blue, the pot rolled over her shoulder and straight into her lap spinning and expelling its contents all over her dress and skin. A silence followed and Jaime quickly masked his grin as he rushed to Brienne and feigned concern.

“Brie, are you okay? I’m so sorry!” He whimpered, eyes quivering up at the teacher that quickly came to Brienne’s aid.

“I twipped on a building block,” He told her as she examined Brienne. “Come on let’s get you cleaned up.” She told her holding out her hand, Brienne stood up without taking her hand and when she turned, Cersei roared with laughter and uncertain on how to react the other children joined in. Jaime grinned as he waited for Brienne to cry, watching her pretty eyes widen as she was ridiculed- but she didn’t cry.

-

Jaime and Cersei were popular. So much so that when their mother died, other mothers pressed their daughters and sons into giving the twins flowers or cards.

And while Cersei would find comfort in their concerns, Jaime isolated himself, throwing the flowers away and ripping cards up, it wouldn’t bring his mother back. He’d been left with a brother, a brother born much too early who could die at any moment.

Jaime’s mother had died before the creature had bled out of her; she never got to hold the parasite that had claimed her life. Cersei hated him instantly and for that Jaime hated him to.

One day, while particularly angry he noticed Brienne sitting alone in the corner of the room, unlike the other girls she chose to wear the trousers instead of the skirt and opted not to wear make-up or brush her hair- she stuck out for all the wrong reasons and Jaime felt rage swell within him. Brienne was the only girl that hadn’t approached him or his sister, she was the only girl that never spoke to him; she didn’t care.

Brienne stared down at the photo of her mother holding her baby sister when it was ripped from her hands. She blinked up at the sneering face of Jaime Lannister as he dangled the photo in front of her.

“You think you’re special because you still have a mum?! You think you can get away with looking the way you do! You’re just a big ugly freak!” He screamed and to her shock he tore the photo into pieces and threw the remains at her.

Her eyes grew wide as she tried to desperately piece the paper together but found her sight blurring as tears ran down her cheeks. She pushed past Jaime before anyone else could see her tears; Jaime stared at the remains of the photo. He later found out that just a day after his mother had died; Brienne’s mother and baby sister had passed on. That photo had been the living proof that for one moment, Brienne was someone’s sister. Jaime wanted to tell her that he was sorry; he wanted to make it up to her. But she never returned to that school.

-

When they met again, 8 years had aged them well. Jaime was slender and golden; he was beautiful in every way a prince from a fairy-tale would be and at prom you would have thought he would be the first one with a date. But to the dismay of the other girls, he refused to take anyone. He hadn’t even wanted to go to prom but his father had already brought him a suit.

Brienne was bulky and loud, she wasn’t pleasant to look at especially in her yellow dress that ended awkwardly at her knees. No one had asked her to prom, no one wanted to hold her hand and dance with her. The other girls giggled at her as she stood against a railing putting as much distance between her and the dance floor.

Rich schools were forced to mingle with one another to please the rich fathers and mothers. And if not for her father’s sunny smile, Brienne wouldn’t have bothered going. He wanted pictures of her special day and the guy that she had picked for her date, she considered just telling him the truth- that no one in their right minds would have picked her as their date.

That was until, Jaime Lannister. What complied him to approach her? She hadn’t a clue. She knew he was going to be here and she had hoped that 8 years would have made her unrecognizable to him. She considered hiding as their eyes locked but unless a giant banana rolled on by she wasn’t going to blend in to anything.

“Brienne!” He exclaimed as though greeting an old friend.

“Jaime…” She mumbled, shoulders dropping in defeat.

“Where’s your date?” He teased playfully, glancing around before winking at her. She stared up at him in disbelief, flushing in embarrassment as a few girls turned to glare at her.

“Where’s yours?” She replied and his grin widened.

“No one asked me.” He lied smoothly Silence followed on for a moment, and then Jaime placed his hand on her shoulder gently. “Listen… I wanted to say- back then I was a complete dickhead. I was angry, I was stupid-“

“You were a child.” She shrugged trying to dislodge his arm from her.

“What I did was pure evil we could have been friends… and instead I tarnished any chance of that happening… but I’ve learned from it- I was hoping… we could be friends now?” He said She stared at him and her eyes glimmered with confliction.

“You- want to be my friend?” She mumbled in disbelief He smiled at her reassuringly

“Let me make it up to you.” He pleaded And then he directing her towards the dance floor and suddenly all eyes were on them. She looked at Jaime in horror as he took her hand in his and tried to coax her into dancing with him.

He was a terrible dancer and where she awkwardly tried to dodge back to avoid being stepped on, it looked to most that they were actually dancing. Nobody danced like this at prom; prom in American movies was all romance and slow dancing, prom in reality was getting that awkward drive in a limo and trying to live out the day in a god awful dress. She wondered if he was doing this to embarrass her; but from the glares being shot her way she couldn’t help feeling slightly pleased. He leaned his head against her neck and began to sway them; and for a moment she became lost in his eyes. And then someone was tapping on her shoulder, Jaime leaned back with frown and when she turned she was faced with a pretty girl in blue.

“May I?” She asked Brienne, but her eyes demanded with cold rage. Brienne flushed and let go of Jaime’s hand only to have his chase hers back quickly.

“I’m sorry but I’m taken for the night.” He smiled at the girl almost apologetically, he brought Brienne close to him and it was all too much. If he had meant to embarrass her he’d done so with that sentence. She struggled against his grasp and when he refused to let her go, she brought out her hand and slapped him hard across the face. Surprised his grip faltered and she broke free.

“Brienne!”

-

She sat in one of the stalls alone, her mobile resting in her lap as she tapped away quickly to her father, begging him to have someone collect her. He tried to call her but she quickly rejected it, typing out that she couldn’t speak to him due to the noise- a half-truth as she’d known his voice would have caused her to breakdown into tears.

The bathroom door opened and two girls walked in. One of them leaned across the sink adjusting their make-up, another like Brienne tapped out on her phone.

“I can’t believe I didn’t get to dance with him, after all this effort.” One of them sighed.

“Looks like dancing with big Brienne wore him out, I can’t believe she slapped him like that- he’s such a kind person, why else would he dance with her other than feeling sorry for her?” The other spoke.

So he’d done it out of pity then? Why on earth would anyone pick her? She thought he had changed. She remembered the way he had ripped the photo in two, the glee in his eyes as he stole something important from her. The truth of the matter was she couldn’t even remember what her sister looked like now. Maybe some things were never meant to be fixed. Maybe all Jaime would ever see was a freak.

-

Destiny had a funny way of bringing them together again. In hindsight maybe throwing a glass of water at her now ex-boyfriend wasn’t the best of ideas, but she hadn’t cared.

She and Hyle had been dating for over a year; they weren’t the best of couples. They rarely spent time together and when they did it wasn’t overly romantic. He’d brought her to an expensive restaurant to tell her that he’d been seeing someone behind her back, and if that wasn’t enough reason to break it off, he also suggested that they continue as they were.

She left him soaking in his dazzling suit as she ran from the restaurant.

-

And suddenly Jaime Lannister was messaging her. On Facebook of all things, just a few minutes after she had hidden her ‘ _in a relationship_ ’ status (which she privately switched back to _Single_ ) and went to log out.

**_Jaime: Are you okay?_ **

**_Brienne: Why wouldn’t I be?_ **

**_Jaime: Just concerned_ **

Brienne glared at her screen, she shouldn’t have accepted his friend request but something about that goofy smile made her do so.

**_Jaime: I know it’s not the right time, but I have something I think you’d want._ **

**_Brienne: If that’s an innuendo, I’m not interested_ **

**_Jaime: It’s not, honestly. When are you free next?_ **

**_Brienne curled her legs up defensively; she stared at his_ ** message and chewed her lip thoughtfully. They were much too old for childish games now and for some reason the idea of seeing Jaime again made her chest flip. She hadn’t been in love with Hyle and on days when they weren’t particularly getting on she sometimes dreamed about that dance so many years ago. But life wasn’t a fairy-tale; Jaime wouldn’t be interested in someone so mundane.

_**Brienne: I’m free tomorrow, is lunch good?** _

-

Age held nothing over Jaime. Despite being 34, he still looked to be in his mid-twenties whereas Brienne had to slap makeup on to look even remotely feminine. He was beautiful in his suit, whereas she looked incredibly out of place in her jeans and floral blouse. She hadn’t expected lunch to be in a fancier restaurant than Hyle could afford, just the price of a bottle of wine demanded the same price of her monthly shop, and Jaime had ordered two. And Brienne despite her previous caution was enjoying herself, Jaime was wonderful and funny and kind. He didn’t particularly care that she wasn’t dressed for such a place and instead teased that he was overdressed.

The hours drifted on before the two left, and when Jaime invited her back to his place, she accepted. Perhaps it was the wine that made her, but she felt like she could trust Jaime.

His home wasn’t anything particularly special, just a modern flat with everyone one person could want. The living room was strangely sterile as though it was directly brought from a showcase.

“It’s nice.” Brienne offered to Jaime who grinned sheepishly while rubbing the back of his head.

“I don’t get a lot of visitors; Tyrion crashes on the couch if he’s drunk too much, Cersei and Father only come at Christmas.” Jaime smiled sadly before he turned on his heel and went into his room. Brienne wanted to ask what happened to the closeness of the twins but felt like she would be intruding.

Jaime stepped back in with a carefully wrapped box; he hesitated before putting it in Brienne’s hands.

“I’ve had it for years. I spent weeks putting it back together.” He told her quietly as she pulled the lid off. Inside, nested in wool was the photo of her mother and sister. The photo was worn and the paper was scarred from where Jaime had pieced it back together, but for the first time in over 22 years Brienne saw her baby sister. The tears came before she could stop and quickly Jaime pulled the box away and pulled Brienne into an embrace. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open in shock as he held her.

“I’m sorry.” He told her. And when she looked up, she saw the same eyes that had once been filled with hate filled with regret; the regret this man had held onto for 22 years and had shaped the man he had become. Brienne suddenly saw the image of a desperate boy trying to fix the pieces back together; he wanted to be forgiven sure, but there was so much more.

-

3 Months into their friendship. Jaime kissed her. It so sudden; Brienne almost convinced herself that she had dreamt it up.

That week was the longest time they’d been apart; Brienne had been snowed under by work and Jaime had been decorating his flat in preparation for Christmas.

Finally she had managed to arrive at Jaime’s in time for the party, as he opened the door to her, a warm smile spread across his face.

“About time,” He teased leaning against the door frame. Brienne puffed her red cheeks out defensively and tried to pass the man, when his hand stopped her. “Hang on a moment…” He mumbled. Jaime then leaned up and kissed her.

It was brief and awkward as Brienne certainly wasn’t prepared for it. But before she could do anything he was pulling away pointing at the mistletoe strung high above Brienne’s head. Her face turned red and he chuckled warmly removing his hand and letting her inside.

‘It was because of the mistletoe’ she kept repeating to herself.

Jaime didn’t kiss another guest that night.

-

“Ok, okay. This is silly, so I’m a kitchen appliance, I’m not a toaster or a washing up bowl. But I’m something you can put stuff in?” Brienne stared at the yellow sticky note attached to Jaime’s head ‘FRIDGE’ was written on his forehead and for the best part of 5 minutes; Jaime had been guessing what he was.

“Am I a dishwasher?” Jaime asked which caused Brienne to laugh.

“No you’re not a bloody dishwasher” She sniggered, Jaime grinned back at her.

“I’m a person, I’m female, and I’m blonde. Am I pretty?” Brienne asked. Jaime’s eyes sparkled at her mischievously

“I think you’re beautiful.” He told her honestly and Brienne flushed at the intensity in his voice

-

Six months later.

Hyle was knocking on her door with a bunch of flowers and chocolates. The woman he was seeing had decided that she didn’t like being treated like a door mat and had promptly left when he refused to change. So here Hyle was, on his knees begging for Brienne to take him back. He even procured a ring from his pocket and begged her to marry him; the ring on inspection looked much too small and fake but before she could form words, Jaime was by her side. And quite frankly he looked fuming.

“Is this your idea of a joke?” He snapped, and Hyde cowered away slightly looking surprised. “Don’t come here again-“Jaime pulled Brienne back inside and slammed the door in the stunned man’s face.

The two stared at one another for a moment before Jaime was pulling Brienne by her hand.

“Jaime, ow! What are you-“Jaime suddenly turned and pressed Brienne against the wall, he rested their heads together and sighed.

“I can’t take this anymore.” He mumbled, cradling her cheek with his hand. He closed his eyes

“I’m in love with you.” He told her.

-

In hindsight maybe running out of the apartment straight into the rain wasn’t the best of ideas.

Brienne was close to having a panic attack when Jaime confessed, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Jaime had called her name out and tried to run after her but they’d lost one another on the stairs. She placed her head against the wall and tried to catch her breath. She wasn’t sure how she felt, she knew that she liked Jaime and had thought about this in some context, but she’d waved the feeling off as a simple crush.

But that one week away had solidified her true feelings pretty quickly; she’d check her phone in hopes of getting goofy messages and his jokes, and she found herself pining for a chance to kiss him again. And now she could have it.

But the image of the boy tearing up her photo kept coming back to her. She knew that boy was long gone, drowned by guilt. But a small part of her could see the same boy tearing her heart in two.

And then Jaime was there, he found her kneeling in the alley and quickly tore his coat off and placed it on her.

“You look like your drowning down there.” He teased

“Why?” She mumbled. Brienne brought her head up; her hair wet against her forehead and dripping beads of water down her face. “Why do you love me?” She asked boldly. His eyes widened in surprise and then he was smiling.

“How could I not?” He whispered and he cupped her cheek tenderly. “You’re the most loyal person I know, you’re kind and funny and frankly quite adorable.” He teased before helping her up. “I wanted to find you, to be your friend. But I can’t help falling for you Brienne.” He was reaching for her again but this time he hesitated. “I understand if you don’t feel the same way. But you deserve more than that prick could ever offer you.”

Brienne considered his words carefully. Jaime was a part of her now. She couldn’t imagine her life without his presence. She thought of the photograph, shredded to pieces and then thought of the same boy looking for her and trying to fix things but in effect fixing himself too.

This man begging for a chance was the result of that painful day. Before she realized what she was doing, she was pulling him down so their lips brushed. And then they were kissing, heat exploding out their fingertips as their fingers roamed and caressed and loved. And it felt like everything was complete at long last.

-

_‘I’m lost in the depths of your eyes but I would happily drown in you’_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really not suited for writing, I've read so many great fanfics and wish I could write like that. XD Anyway I hope you've found some enjoyment from reading this :)


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